Indian military which escort the boundaries of the country with the help of patriotic soldiers .This story is dedicated to them. Jai Hind.
BORDER AND ENEMY
Last Night when Hari was in duty at a fog bound thick forest in the India-Pakistan border in the mountains situated in Kashmir,a terrorist was trying to intrude into the border. Hari warned him to surrender. As he failed to listen to him, Hari shot him. But the terrorist threw a bomb at Hari before he deceased. Hari envisaged that it was his final day as he was injured seriously and bleeding badly when he became unconscious.
Today morning, when he got the consciousness, he understood a person was carrying him on his shoulder. His trauma did not let him to speak or move. All that he could do was to recollect the Past.
Hari hailed from a well settled family. He had ardor for sports. While Hari was in his school days, Cricket was not that much familiar in Indian villages. It was his childhood ambition to get into the military.He was inspired by the respect his Uncle commended for his service to the nation. Moreover, it was a common practice of the villages in Thanjavur district that at least one from each street serves the nation. As Hari excelled in volley ball and Kabbadi, he did not find any obscurity to get into the military force.
Another person also joined military along with him. His name was Muneesh, who hailed from a village next to that of Hari. For the past three decades, there exists a conflict between these two villages on communal basis. Muneesh’s village inhabitants were neither allowed to enter the Temple in Hari’s village nor allowed to participate in its car functions. Muneesh did nothing wrong to Hari other than belonging to rival village of Hari.
However they were studying in the same school and together they have represented their school in the competitions. Imbibed by their village tradition, Hari never spoke to Muneesh. Once, when a mob was about to Snatch Hari’s gold chain, Muneesh saved him. Even that time Hari was reluctant to thank Muneesh for his help.Moreover Muneesh was more energetic and has influenced their school team’s success more than Hari . It added fuel to Hari’s enmity with Muneesh.
Years passed.Both of them got selected to military and were posted in the same camp after training. Though many instances rose to mingle with Muneesh, Hari was obstinate to come out of his shell.
His memory recap came to an end when he realized he was dropped on a bed in the military camp. Doctors rushed to the tent .Hari saw the person who was walking away and collected all his energy and shouted “धन्यवाथ भैय्या (Thank you brother)!!. That person turned back to Hari and politely smiled at him. Hari was stunned to see Muneesh out there. He knew the Tamil adage “தோள் கொடுப்பான் தோழன்” (a true friend renders his shoulder when u are in need ). But, here moved by the life saving help by the person whom he treated as his adversary since his childhood,Hari could not control himself from shedding tears on a roll. Muneesh started moving away. To Hari’s vision, Muneesh resembled the Idol of the God that was being worshiped in his native temple.
Today morning, when he got the consciousness, he understood a person was carrying him on his shoulder. His trauma did not let him to speak or move. All that he could do was to recollect the Past.
Hari hailed from a well settled family. He had ardor for sports. While Hari was in his school days, Cricket was not that much familiar in Indian villages. It was his childhood ambition to get into the military.He was inspired by the respect his Uncle commended for his service to the nation. Moreover, it was a common practice of the villages in Thanjavur district that at least one from each street serves the nation. As Hari excelled in volley ball and Kabbadi, he did not find any obscurity to get into the military force.
Another person also joined military along with him. His name was Muneesh, who hailed from a village next to that of Hari. For the past three decades, there exists a conflict between these two villages on communal basis. Muneesh’s village inhabitants were neither allowed to enter the Temple in Hari’s village nor allowed to participate in its car functions. Muneesh did nothing wrong to Hari other than belonging to rival village of Hari.
However they were studying in the same school and together they have represented their school in the competitions. Imbibed by their village tradition, Hari never spoke to Muneesh. Once, when a mob was about to Snatch Hari’s gold chain, Muneesh saved him. Even that time Hari was reluctant to thank Muneesh for his help.Moreover Muneesh was more energetic and has influenced their school team’s success more than Hari . It added fuel to Hari’s enmity with Muneesh.
Years passed.Both of them got selected to military and were posted in the same camp after training. Though many instances rose to mingle with Muneesh, Hari was obstinate to come out of his shell.
His memory recap came to an end when he realized he was dropped on a bed in the military camp. Doctors rushed to the tent .Hari saw the person who was walking away and collected all his energy and shouted “धन्यवाथ भैय्या (Thank you brother)!!. That person turned back to Hari and politely smiled at him. Hari was stunned to see Muneesh out there. He knew the Tamil adage “தோள் கொடுப்பான் தோழன்” (a true friend renders his shoulder when u are in need ). But, here moved by the life saving help by the person whom he treated as his adversary since his childhood,Hari could not control himself from shedding tears on a roll. Muneesh started moving away. To Hari’s vision, Muneesh resembled the Idol of the God that was being worshiped in his native temple.
this is my first ever story in english. i request my friends to identify the mistakes and let me know to correct them.
ReplyDeleteplot is bit old...try something different...realistic ones with a twist...this story is a good try...kudos to u :)))
ReplyDeleteIt’s a very good try actually indeed was nice but was predictable too. But I don’t find any big mistakes in it. So just carry on at some point you will know what the people like and to make it interesting but really I’m proud that one of my friend is actually trying it. All the best.
ReplyDeletesir it's good... trying to express ur feelings n a very nce way... grt sir u shud write lot of thngs like this
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegood old plot and predictable thought...(Summa Kavithai maari illa????)
ReplyDelete1)First line says that he in duty today.. but second para is contardi to it saying the nest morning hari is hospitalised..
2)u can add fuel only if there exits some flaw already.. but no where u said abt that .. how come u add fuel out of nothing??
This line "Muneesh did nothing wrong to Hari other than belonging to rival village of Hari..." shows that there is no enemity between them..
3) what is that 2 e's doing in that name muneesh????? numerology????
apart from that ur language is too good sir??? amazing... good start.. do watch some englissss films rather wasting time in tamil films.. ull get good plots.. awaiting for ur 2nd story... All the best..
good story..
ReplyDeletemr.vincent...........
ReplyDeleteactually sir meant that already muneesh and hari were not allowed to talk or behave in a friendly way due to the prevailing communal enemity...........
adding fuel to fir .muneesh was more popular or talented than hari....this fact would create jealousy on hari's mind which would never help muneesh-hari friendship..
thats what he meant by adding fuel to fire................
Good one KSR:-)Gud to see you Doing some stuffs:
ReplyDelete-)
@vincent: 1. it is given in the last but third line .."the person whom he treated as his adversary since his childhood",2.Munish is a stylish Name.i wanted to give my character a village-oriented name :muneesh is muneeshvaran god name:-)
ReplyDeleteThe objective of the story is not to give a suspense to the readers,rather the aim is to let you know what is happening in the country.
ReplyDeleteTo those who feel it is an outdated version, can read this link:
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/dalits-cant-enter-into-cms-village-temple/114762-37-64.html?from=rhs